infotheque (comabeautiful) wrote,

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jeez, this journal is going to waste. i've only updated it like twice. :( i've been incredibly busy lately, what with midterms, assignments, and various school crap. i studied the whole reading week like the good little girl that i am, yet it barely paid off. i did really well on my bio midterm, pretty well on physics (i'm actually starting to understand that class), and putrid on calculus. where that rossmann creep get off, giving a midterm even einstein would fail? i studied my ass off, but to no avail. ahh well. i'm kicking computer science's ass. i can't believe i'm putting so much effort into that class....what a nerd i am. :) yesterday was good fun; i went out with nat to this free jungle night at this place called eclipse near sparks...i know, jungle music. not exactly millencolin or the juliana theory. but i'm very open-minded when it comes to music, and i ended up totally enjoying myself. the place had a very friendly ambience. okay, to be honest, i got so trashed i could barely walk. *lol* the promoter was buying me and nat drinks and then i smoked a joint with these two raver dudes....good times. i felt really bad for nattie, though, because her friend james was waaay too drunk and she ended up having to take care of him. :( natalie's such a good person. anyways, it was cool that the place didn't i.d... elliott found me this old i.d. of this 24-year-old chick to use and it looked nothing like me, but i've gotten away with worse. i can't wait till i turn 19 and won't have to worry about all this legal drinking age bullshit! i finally got to see elliott in full drag, and boy, was it something. nat did his makeup and i must say, whoah baby...that was some hot shit. *lol* however, his boobs were kind of frightening....they were huge and made of rice, so they felt REALLY weird. but maybe i'm just used to my boobs, which are made out of flesh and not rice. :)
i started thinking today about the future. i'm starting to realize that maybe i won't be well known when i grow up. also, "when i grow up" is starting to sound a little weird...aren't i already grown up? i've learned so much about myself and life in general in these past is such an amazing, eye-opening experience. it's like suddenly all the loose ends in my life have been tied together, and i have all this control and understanding that before was hopelessly beyond my reach. i always felt as if there were something missing: i should like this band, or go to this show, or hang out with these people, or make these connections, or take these courses, or like this t.v. show. social interaction used to be so exhausting sometimes, because i felt so pressured to fit in and impress everyone. now i'm liked for who i am, and i love who i am, and i love life. i am one of the only people i know who can say that i am truly happy. this may sound simple, but i want a happy life. that's all. after putting everything else that is transient or superficial or unimportant aside, i just want a good, happy life.
i think the entry deserves to be ended there. :)
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